Just recently, a good friend of mine, mentioned that her ex-husband, her son’s father, did not reach out to her or him with a text, email, a phone call or any kind of communication to wish them a happy birthday and Happy New Year.  After hearing her say that, that kind of hurt my heart emotionally and I felt kind of bad for her and her son.  It doesn’t matter how you feel about your ex-spouse and regardless of how things went and ended, your feelings toward each other should not be portrayed on your child.  We have to be constantly reminded that the child did not ask to be here and does not understand the animosity that may be placed between his or her parents.  From what I have seen and heard about how she treats her son is showing wonderful and unconditional love, not only because she is a mother, but also because that is the kind of person she is and how big her heart is.

Her ex-husband, through most of the marriage from my understanding, was very disrespectful and did not treat her with the love she needed and wanted.  Watching her go through this miserable part of her life, and the constant fighting she was going through to save her job and reputation was saddening, but all of her close friends and family kept her spirits up the best we could.  What kind of man, father, could just forget your son or push your son aside because of your emotional dealings with his mother?  Some women are single mothers by choice, and some are single mothers because of the situation that was thrown on them and no fault of their own.  This is a situation that was no fault of her own from my understanding, and now it would appear that her son’s father is punishing them both for not acknowledging his offspring.  In some small way I can sympathize and knows what that feels like, as most people that I have met would think that I was raised by a single mother, but the only difference is that my father was there in the physical sense, but emotionally and spiritually was nowhere to be found.

This kind of behavior towards your kids is ridiculous and nonsense.  Kids who are exposed to this kind of behavior from their parents, from their father in this instance, can and have grown up hating their father’s.  Also, we have seen the father get all upset when the mother finds someone to be happy with and is around their son, playing the father figure and role model.  That kind of anger, jealousy response from the father, who was nowhere to be found, is selfish and asinine to core.  Why get upset and pissed off when you see another man around your son, when you didn’t want anything to do with him in the beginning?  Why you want to cause relationship problems with your son’s mother and make it harder for her to move on?  Remember your actions will have consequences, and you mush deal with those consequences as they come!  Father forgetting his son or daughter is where deadbeat dad comes from and only become known as a sperm donor for all the wrong reasons.  Now, I don’t know this guy personally, and have no intentions to do so, but that is not needed to know what kind of father he is to his son.

No woman deserves to face this kind situation, especially her as she is a beautiful person inside and out.  As big as her heart and love is for her son, he will be just fine and grow up to be an outstanding member of society.  Once her son grows up and is able to speak and accomplish things with desire and wants in the forefront, I’m sure his father will try to claim him then.  This is a sad cycle that continues to repeat itself over and over again and doesn’t seem to have a ending nowhere in sight.  I will continue to pray for her and have encouragement for her, as well as the rest of her friends and family, to continue on the path of raising her son to the best of her ability and make their home a happy one.  I do know one thing, and that is he, her son’s father, better catch up quickly and be a father in his son’s life or be left behind and face the worse the relationship he could have with his son.





  1. Spousal Unit

    Man that’s tough. I grew up in a similar situation and it has taken almost 30 years for me to have an improved relationship with my father after my parents split when I was young. I also dealt with no phone calls and cards on holidays and birthdays, broken promises, etc. No child should go through that; like you said…they didn’t ask to be here.

    Your friend (full disclosure – I know her as well) has a huge heart and I’m sorry she’s getting a raw deal with her ex. I’m glad that you and her other friends are rallying around her and giving her support. That’s what real friends do.

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