NEW YORK IN-LAWS (Real Life Stories)

For the past several days and weeks now, my wife and I have been traveling back and forth from Maryland to New York to get things prepared for our move.  She was born there in the Albany area and moved down here near Washington, D.C. about eight years ago.  I’ve been living here in Maryland all my life and even though I have been around the world, with the military and have lived in other states, I’ve always been able to come back to my permanent home.

Now things have changed in our lives and she is ready to move back to New York and I can’t much blame her.  I am over this area I believe and I have out-grown this political theatrical scene.  There is no one reason for us going further north and basically moving our lives approximately four hundred miles.  We have several reasons, but most important outside of that is that we basically already have a second life in the Apple Picking Nation.  We have already established a baby sitter if we need it for our human babies, if we are blessed to have them.  We already have a sitter for our one year old black Lab, who has calmed down a lot, but still needs to be watched from time to time. We already have a doctor’s office and an OBGYN established up there for us to use.  The only thing we need is to make our permanent address with a NY label on it.

During the process of getting things done and completed and ready for the move early next year, we have been staying with my wife’s mother, step father, and her uncle.  I love them dearly, but I have to tell you that staying with three elderly people, who have diabetes, high blood pressure, constant pain in body parts, and up most can’t hear very well, can be comical and stressful at the same time.  The oldest person in the house is about 75 and the youngest is about 60 and hearing them having conversations when the television volume is up to near 50 and they can’t hear each other is something to witness.  Whenever my step father in law starts speaking, which he is from the south and has a heavy southern accent, and my mother in law can’t hear him, instead of muting the television or turning it down for better comprehension, she gets mad and starts telling him he’s mumbling!

After he repeats himself like three or four times, my wife has to basically yell at her mother to repeat what he said.  Sometimes I can’t even understand him half the time and I had to learn how to read lips and concentrate very hard just to understand certain words.  Then when the uncle gets involved in a conversation with his sister, my mother in law, he is basically yelling at her to where my ear drums are about bust from the excessive decibels that are being expelled at one time.  When I first met them about six years ago, the television volume reached about 30, then 35, then 40, and now it is between 45-47!  I hate to see where the volume setting will be in the next year!  They are already more than halfway past the volume bar on the television.  Very soon we will need to purchase concert speakers for them and have sound proof walls, floors, and unbreakable windows.

My wife’s mom just had reconstructed back surgery that will ultimately have her in pain for several months to come, but keeps trying to do the same things she’s been doing.  OMG!  I can’t tell you how many times my wife had to almost yell at her mom to get her to sit down and just relax!!  Before my mother in law received her new pain meds they had her on Percocet, which only made her loopy and drunk sounding.  This obviously after a while alerted my wife and had to convince her mother to call the doctor’s office to get that situation handled.  Thank God that situation was taken care and now my mother in law is doing better and more coherent of what is going on around her.  Still has not learned to turn the television down or use the mute button to hear people speaking to her yet.

They constantly have small spats and arguments over the silliest things that wouldn’t bother the normal person.  Especially my mother in law who takes things out of context and concerns herself with the wrong things a lot and we believe that is not healthy.  That alone is a work in progress, but my wife’s uncle is not right in the head sometimes.  How do you get mad when you get stranded at a grocery store after you told your sister’s husband to drop you off?  He was under the impression that you had a way to get home!!  Then get mad at me and my wife because we didn’t pick up a COAX cable for the DVD player!!  If the COAX CABLE is that important to you, we will go ahead and buy YOU one and have it send FEDEX from Maryland!!  As we age more and more into the digital age, all three of them constantly need help and work on trying to navigate the web.

My wife is constantly cleaning her mother’s computer of viruses and unimportant data that we believe comes from her uncle.  Can’t tell you how many times we had to tell them STOP CLICKING ON EVERYTHING ON THE WEB!!  THAT’S HOW YOU DRAW VIRUSES TO YOUR COMPUTER!!  It would appear that my mother in law gets it, but my uncle in law is still doing the same thing and keeps wondering why he can’t do anything on the computer without my wife’s help.  It may seem like I don’t do anything while we are there, but my focus is on getting my career settled in NY from Maryland and doing the harsh labor around the house and taking Romeo, our dog, out for potty sessions in the backyard.

After a while of visiting up there enough, we have come to a conclusion that everyone in the house is crazy and creators of their own issues.  You have three elderly persons in the house that are on diabetes medicine, high blood pressure medicine, thyroid issues, overweight issues, 1 1/3 of a lung, and smoke heavily, except for one, and have numerous amounts of soda, cakes, sweets, chocolates, and other things that would make a diabetes patient keel over and DIE!!  OMG!! I wish you could see what I am speaking about to you all.  Like I said before I love them dearly and would do what I can do to help them out, but sometimes the issues they have on the regular is from their own doing!  Trying to make them see that though is almost like pulling hay across the farm with only two kitchen size forks.

In the coming weeks and months we will be visiting the state of New York several more times and I have to tell you I LOVE IT!!  I can’t wait until everything is finalized and we are up there permanently without having to know the layout of the state of Pennsylvania and southern tier of NY by heart or by memory so that we can draw our route without using GOOGLE MAPS!!  There is a lot more to this, but I will leave it here for now and give you updates on our move as it happens!




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Filed under Off The Clock, REAL-LIFE STORIES

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